Why A Game?
It’s your game, so it’s your rules.
Throughout history Women have been minor characters in the stories and myths authored by men who have cast women with character flaws that have distorted, compressed and contained their power and purpose. That is why I created The Decade Game®, which I have been playing since I was 8. At that age we are still happy to play make believe. I never stopped playing.
Play has its own energy. It’s the energy of joy, delight and lightness of being. It’s the energy that can help you face your greatest challenges. There is a reason that humor and humanity come from the root.
The Decade Game gives Women access to a play-book to write an inspiring new story for themselves to uncover their purpose, recover their power and rediscover their destiny. Just as you are unique - so is your decade game, designed by you, for you.
There’s a new game in town and you create the play-book that works for you.
Below, explore my Decade Game “axioms” - created over the years as my own un-rules of the game.
Feel free to use them, change them, or create your own!
The Decade Game Axioms
The Decade Game Axiom #1
Create your life by design, not by default.
You have all the assets you need – tangible and intangible – to have a life of meaning and purpose. And you are in control of the design parameters, no one else. You are the master designer able to create your own personal design based on your unique circumstances. You can iterate towards the best fit of both today’s realities and tomorrow’s dreams. Don’t give up your power and authority to old stories.
The Decade Game Axiom #2
Practice thoughtful wishing vs. wishful thinking.
Many people live in the past "I shoulda, woulda, coulda" or in the future "I really wish…" but aren't willing to take committed action for that desire. That is wishful thinking. On the other hand, if you practice "want what you have, do what you can, and be who you are", you have all that you need to have a life filled with meaning, purpose, and gratitude. That is thoughtful wishing. And unlike wishful thinking, thoughtful wishes always come true.
The Decade Game Axiom #3
You can’t get there from here but you can get here from there.
The most effective way to manifest a transformation is by fully imagining and prototyping what might be — the There, — and transporting as much of the star stuff of that future state as possible back into today’s reality. The magic of our brain/heart partnership is that all you need to do is to fully claim and commit to that future vision of yourself and the work of transformation has already begun. And remember, “if you know where you are going, any road will get you there”.
The Decade Game Axiom #4
There is no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes.
We can imagine a decade destination and build a blueprint to guide our choices. However, we have no idea what the real itinerary will be. Often the breakthrough happens after an unplanned break down. We can blame it on mother nature, force majeure, bad luck, inclement circumstances beyond our control. Or we can change our clothes, attitudes, and understanding of the underlying problem, and repack appropriately to take advantage of where we find ourselves with our destination firmly in our hearts.
The Decade Game Axiom #5
If you can’t be part of the problem, than you can’t be part of the solution.
The Decade Game has less to do with knowing the right answer and fixing stuff than it does empathetically leaning into what is longing to become right. There is also a gentle, non-judgmental, forgiving quality to the journey. A rear-view decade-long mirror honors all that has happened that has gotten you to this point. Both the traumas and the triumphs of the past become the treasures to equip you for the best decade of your life, so far.
The Decade Game Axiom #6
If you can’t have fun with a problem, then you can never solve it.
The secret sauce of the Decade Game is that it is a game of “broccoli-covered chocolate” instead of “chocolate-covered broccoli”. The work of designing a transformational life is hard work – and you need to eat all your broccoli. Putting challenging ideas into play and laughing and dancing with the ideas in a brave space of your own choosing, allows you to show up with all your God-given gifts. You discover that it’s the sweet chocolate that has always been inside you that is the secret ingredient.
The Decade Game Axiom #7
If you are not having fun, you are playing by someone else’s rules.
Play brings out people's greatest creativity, imagination and reduces their fear of losing. The “move is not the game”. And there is no such thing as a wrong move in the Decade Game. It is a continual learning experience of how to play your game better. The more challenging a game - the more fun it is to play, even when it is hard, sweaty, tearful work. If your life is not fun and feeling full of meaning, then you are most likely playing by someone else's rules
The Decade Game Axiom #8
When in Rome, do as the Romanians do.
In the Decade Game, you are creating a new identity that expresses your greatest dreams and aspirations which are unique to you. There has been no one EVER in history that has had the same fingerprint, eye pigmentation and vocal tone that you do. Therefore no one will do, see or voice your truth, other than you. Create your own identity that unleashes your full imagination. Be a unique traveler.
The Decade Game Axiom #9
It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you.
Many women have an ambivalent relationship to ambition. Instead of the often seen “hero archetype” of “Speak Loudly and Carry a Big Stick”, women dream big yet play small. Your epic decade game destination asks players to imagine how they will be known in the world. This requires you to build a strong brand. Your brand is based on how other people feel when they engage with you. Make sure you are not your best kept secret.
The Decade Game Axiom #10
The power of a positive “no”.
Women in their "good girl" mindset have a hard time creating the boundaries of what they want and desire. They say Yes in order not to displease. There is a way to say no that is affirming to both the woman and the person they are saying no to. Knowing who you are becoming, what it means to really be in right relationship with others and to be clear about your overall desired Decade identity helps you with the power of a positive NO.
The Decade Game Axiom #11
Honor the Resistance; Resistance is Futile.
The object of the Game is to live the best decade of your life, - at home, at work and in the world. There are many antibodies in our culture against “epic-ness”, particularly for women. We were raised to be “good girls” navigating the tightrope of “too this/ too that”. Resistance signals fear of failure and judgement, not fear of transformation. And what you resist, persists. Resistance is a sign to me of energy, longing to be released. When you are playing your own game, by your own rules, resistance is futile
The Decade Game Axiom #12
Be totally present and totally ready.
Level 10 thinking and level 1 doing.
Often we don’t show up fully present because we are worried about the "next steps", "the next promotion" or "I'll tackle that next week". You will do your best work and have your greatest impact if you bring the awareness of your Level 10 intentions into the task and relationships in front of you. Yet when the best next step emerges out of the universe, you KNOW it is right and won't let the doubts of the past influence your decision to act.
The Decade Game Axiom #13
Invest wisely in the rule of three.
Any initiative, project or action you take on - organize it in a way that allows you to make progress and deepen your learning on 3 of 5 pillars of your Decade Game at the same time. This creates an integrated exponential energy towards your commitment to mastery and your decade destination. Remember, your job is not what you are being paid to do. It is to become a savvy investor in the experiences, knowledge and relationships that fuel your overarching purpose
The Decade Game Axiom #14
The Trials and Triumphs of the Past, are the Treasures that fund the Future.
No one can predict the future – either next week or next year. Knowing the future is not necessary. The real game is to be equipped – emotionally, spiritually and physically – to embrace an uncertain future, knowing that we have everything we need at this moment to discover what is the next best move. We have the gifts of hindsight, forgiveness, resilience, and gratitude that come from all the highs and lows, the trials and triumphs as individuals and society – and they are the treasures that fund our future.
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