The Good Ancestor meets the Heroine
Several weeks ago, I shared some thoughts about the Shambala Warrior as an archetype that is needed for the 21rst Century - a warrior whose powerful “weapons” are compassion and insight. Given all the challenges we are facing, our future story is certainly calling out for new “hero” archetypes.
The need for new faces of leadership is pressing. It turns out that we don’t actually live in our lives and our relationships. Without fully realizing it, we live in the stories we tell about our lives and relationships. These stories tend to follow the arcs of myths and legends that have been told for centuries and millennia, passed down from generation to generation by our ancestors.
The great mythologist Joseph Campbell cemented our understanding of the power of story with his monumental research of the archetypal storyline that has influenced our understanding of courageous leadership from the beginning of recorded time, found in every culture - the Monomyth of the Hero’s Journey.
It’s time to update the main character of the story. I encounter women every day who are playing with the wrong playbook and struggle to pursue a heroic quest worthy of their unique gifts and commensurate with the demands of our times. By emulating the “Hero” and following the patriarchal plotline, women squeeze themselves into the garments of the protagonist in the storyline. The problem is this. The suit of armor is too tight, the horse is too fast, the weapons are too sharp, the princess is too needy, the king is too demanding, and the dragon, misunderstood.
Campbell was aware that the times were changing. After his death, his reflections on women were compiled in a book edited by Safon Elsabeth Rossi, entitled “Goddesses: Mysteries of the Feminine Devine.”
” This is a very interesting time: there are no models for anything that is going on. Everything is changing, even the law of the masculine jungle. It is a period of free fall into the future, and each has to make his or her own way. The old models are not working; the new have not yet appeared. In fact, it is we who are even now shaping the new in the shaping of our interesting lives. And that is the whole sense (in mythological terms) of the present challenge: we are the “ancestors” of an age to come, the unwitting generators of its supporting myths, the mythic models that will inspire its lives.” Joseph Campbell
The earth, our societies and our institutions are crying out for the rebalancing of feminine and masculine heroic energies so that empathy, insight, nurture, collaboration, compassion and gratitude can combine with logic, reason, technology, and might to build a world that works for everyone. In other words, heroes and heroines alike are being called upon to be the ancestors of an age to come - good ancestors at home, at work and in the world.
What is a good ancestor and how is it different from the ancient “Hero” monomyth? In his fascinating new book, “The Good Ancestor: A Radical Prescription for Long-Term Thinking”, Roman Krznaric describes three main characteristics of a good ancestor:
The power to Imagine the impossible
The power to Care so that every move is in service of sentient future beings you will never know
The power to Plan in a way that can be executed beyond your lifetime
To this we can add 3 fundamental ways that the Heroine’s Journey is different from the Hero’s Journey.
First of all, her dragon to be slayed has two heads. One head is the external dragon the Hero meets – this is the dragon that stands in the way of humanity’s ability to be humane. The second head is the internal dragon and represents, not the enemy, but rather all whom the Heroine loves – her family, her society, her culture. These beloveds have asked her to give up some of her authentic self for their comfort, desires and wholeness. She has to reclaim her true self in order to do her best ancestral work.
Secondly, heroines don't go it alone. Although the hero has allies, his is the story of one man among men and his individual struggle and triumph against evil. The heroine's story is always an exploration of relationships and relatedness. She isn’t practicing martial arts, but rather “marshal” arts, gathering others together in healing relatedness. The heroine is quite clear that “it takes a village”.
Lastly, there is no villain in the heroine’s story. She can see beyond the core wounds that keep us from being our best selves and she leans into what is longing to happen with compassion and insight. The heroine does not carry a life-taking sword. As the birther, nurturer and mourner, her weapon is her life-affirming truth.
Future generations are calling on us - to be the ancestors of an age to come - the ones they can count on to do all that we can today so that they can flourish and thrive. As Heroines embody what they know about courageous leadership, they will inspire the new stories and models of the good ancestor for everyone.